Many people have boring sex. And many men are boring lovers. And it’s because they have one dimensional sex.
Become a more dynamic lover by paying attention to these 4 things:
Speed. Angles. Thrusting. Grinding.
I’m going to share some personal examples in this article, so if you don’t want to get intimate with me, stop reading here.
Most men think sex is about thrusting her to orgasm. And it’s often one type of thrusting, and one speed.
But women experience sex, and reach orgasm much differently than us guys. There’s a sense of “fullness” that women experience and enjoy, that most straight men don’t understand (unless they’ve explored with anal play themselves)
Thrusting is great and all, but if that’s all you do, sex is going to get repetitive, predictable……and boring. And it doesn’t allow women to fully feel what’s going in inside of them, especially if the guy is moving too much.
Imagine a massage therapist, only massaging with her finger tips, and moving her hands erratically all over your body. You won’t be able to fully enjoy the touch because it’s too all over the place.
Women aren’t going to experience the full spectrum of pleasure they can from vaginal stimulation, if they’re only being offered one type of stimulation, and too quickly.
Instead of relentlessly or frantically thrusting back and forth, focus the effort of your penis and your touch. Be a more dynamic lover by playing with grinding, and the angles of your penis while inside of her, and with different speeds.
Here’s an example of what you can do. This is just one method, and will vary depending on your penis size, and how you two “fit” together.
Have your partner lie on her belly, and keep her legs relatively closed. Put your legs on the outside of hers, and enter her [vagina] from behind.
This is where most guys will start thrusting. But I don’t want you to thrust right now. Right now, you have a golden opportunity to connect with her in a way a lot of men don’t.
Thrusting vs Grinding
Thrusting makes your penis go in and out of her vagina. A backwards and forwards type sensation.
When you grind, however, your penis is going to feel like it’s moving up and down inside of her (instead of back and forth). It’s angle is going to change.
Now that you’re inside of your partner, instead of thrusting, you’re going to slow the fuck down. Be inside of her, feel her, and simply grind.
As you shift your hips forward, your penis is going to be angled downwards. In this position, it’s going to put pressure on her g-spot (provided she’s lying on her belly).
When you’re there, make small movements, as you grind back and forth. Or even just stay stationary, and kiss her, and let the pressure of your penis be focussed on that sweet spot you just found. Depending on her response, you can make the grinding movements larger or harder.
When thrusting, the sweet spot that you’re trying to hit may only get slightly stimulated. And your partner may not be able to fully feel it. But this way, you give it very focussed, and direct attention and stimulation.
Explore with this type of grinding, and where she’s most sensitive. Adjust the angle and speed of the grinding, and the thrusting.
Stimulating her cervix
Another way you can use grinding is to stimulate her cervix. If you’re long enough, you can focus on potentially hitting her cervix (the entrance to her uterus) at the back of her vaginal canal.
When she’s close to her period, her uterus will dip into her canal, closer to the entrance, so it’ll be easier to reach. When she’s farthest away from her period, her uterus extends farther back into the vaginal canal.
The cervix, and the area right around it, can be highly sensitive and pleasurable (or sometimes painful). But, when you’re thrusting, you will likely miss out on the opportunity to bring focussed attention to those areas that could bring her a significant amount of pleasure.
In order to hit her cervix, personally, I’ve preferred it when my partner is on her back, with her legs up on my shoulders. From here, I enter her, and once I’m in all the way, I grind up and down, so my penis, while inside of her, is moving up and down.
You will know you’ve hit her cervix, when you feel a more solid part of her vagina on the tip/end of your penis. Once you notice her cervix touching your tip, start to play (provided she’s responding well to it).
It’s like you’re massaging her insides with your penis. Instead of jack hammering like a rabbit.
As an additional benefit, grinding gives you a huge break, because you’re not wasting all your energy thrusting. It will undoubtedly help you to last longer and stop premature ejaculation, while simultaneously offering her more, and different kinds of pleasure.
This next part is the most beautiful part of sex. When thrusting, it can be harder to kiss and hold your partner because you need to hold your body up. Which disconnects you a tiny bit from you partner.
When you’re inside of her grinding, you can use that opportunity to kiss, or hold or caress your partner. You can make eye contact, and tell her how beautiful she is (or what a whore she is, if you want to start getting dirty).
A woman doesn’t want to just feel like she’s just a vagina that you’re fucking. She wants to feel like you’re fucking her. And by holding her, and kissing her, while you grind, it brings the connection back into sex.
Some angles might work with some women, while with others, it’s irritating or hurts. Some women prefer fucking, and don’t care as much for grinding. Some women want it fast and hard, and others want slow.
But if your only way of having sex is thrusting hard and fast, you’ll never be able to reach the full potential of pleasure both you and your partner can have.
So, play with grinding. Play with speeds. Play with angles. Pay attention to her breathing, and how her body reacts to different kinds of stimulation. Talk to her about what she enjoys or wants more of.
Become a more dynamic lover. And fuck her soul, not just her body.